About me
I’m Sarah Faulstroh and I was diagnosed with ADHD at 53.
I started looking into ADHD when my youngest son really struggled to do any online learning during lockdown. He’d always taken ages to do things and never seemed to listen or remember what he’d been told, but I hadn’t realized just how hard it was for him to focus on his own until then.
The more I learnt, the more I saw myself. ADHD shows up in women in so many more nuanced ways than the standard questionnaire suggests. Being great in a crisis, highly empathetic, creative, no respect for authority, heightened sense of justice, overwhelm, sensitivity to rejection and procrastination to name just a few.
But, like many women with undiagnosed ADHD, I’ve spent my life doubting myself and not feeling good enough. In fact, my biggest fear in going for an ADHD diagnosis was that I didn’t have it but was just really slow and stupid and kidding myself that I had any strengths at all.
“A pleasant girl who’s happy go lucky attitude will need to be modified if she is to live up to her potential…disappointing results…too easily distracted…project work is good if it gets finished.
Primary School report age 10
Yet, I’ve lived abroad, helped hundreds of people develop their leadership skills and speak fluent French.
I’ve worked for blue chip companies, been through IVF and donor conception and navigated the care system for my Dad as he struggled with dementia.
But no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to do things consistently or deliver my best work to order. As soon as I start trying to do a good job or someone expects something from me, I freeze, lose my flow, start spinning and any creativity withers and dies.
“I am sure Sarah is capable of producing very good work if she can find extra concentration….if she pushes herself a little harder she should overcome any problems”.
Primary school report age 8
Add to that the day -to-day challenges of helping neuro-divergent teenagers get up on time, manage their anxiety and survive an education system that just doesn’t fit them there have been more than a few times in the past when those childhood feelings of never being good enough have reared their nasty little heads. The more I struggle the worse I feel until I step back and put the things in place that help me thrive
“Writing is rather disappointing…promises much but achieves little…Weekly tests tend to give disappointing results and disguise her potential… she does not appear to find motivation to work”.
Primary school report
I thrive when I’m doing something meaningful, making things happen and connecting with people.
When I’m learning, sharing ideas and know that what I’m doing helps others. It’s then that I’m at my best: unstoppable, confident, engaging, persuasive and will keep going until the job is finished. Like this I’m fully alive and bloody brilliant.
But, when I don’t prioritise these things I get overwhelmed by ordinary day-to-day tasks, perfectionism paralyses me, small tasks become mountains, laundry sits in the machine for days and I feel useless and crappy about myself.
Now I know it’s all down to the way my brain is wired.
Being diagnosed with ADHD was massive for me because I’ve spent a lifetime feeling like I want to move forwards and am capable of it but just can’t. However hard I’ve tried (and boy am I good at trying hard) something has stopped me from being the best version of myself.
I’m not slow or stupid and there’s certainly nothing wrong with me. I have masses of strengths, see things differently and am brilliant at some things. I also struggle with things that a lot of people find really easy because I find them pointless or boring and the mental effort needed to do them is exhausting.
But, crucially, I’m learning what works for me and what doesn’t. I’m not always consistent, and I’m ok with that, but I have regular habits that help, can spot when I’m going off track and know what to do to make life easier when I do.
If this resonates with you and you’d like some support, I’d love to help you find what works for you and help you thrive.